So, it’s been awhile my 8 faithful followers; as the title suggests this is a letter to my future self. I’ve decided that with everything that is going on right now, I should write myself some advice…just in case something like this happens again.
Dear Future self,
So, you’re a teenager right now, and as a teenager you are almost obligated to write somewhere online about your relationships. So here’s mine.
Don’t date your best friend. It sounds like a great idea, right? They know everything about you, they love you despite all your flaws, they’ve been with you through everything, they sound like the perfect partner, right? Well, in theory yes. Your best friend could be your perfect partner…for a time. But what do you do when it ends? You not only just lost your boyfriend, you lost your best friend.
Who do you go to now with your problems? Who do you call when you want to watch a movie? Or cry to because your parents are putting so much pressure on you. Who do you turn to when you’ve just ended a four year relationship? Your best friend? You can’t, they were the one you just ended that four year relationship with, remember?
So then, remind yourself why you did it. Confess and maybe, just maybe somehow they’ll see this one day and understand. I did it because I stopped feeling. I mean that literally, I look at the people around me and I feel nothing. I did it because I couldn’t stand having you look at me with eyes full of love, eyes full admiration when I myself looked at you and couldn’t return those feelings. I tried, I kept up the lie. I kept replying to your “I love you”s with “I know…I…love you too”. How could I lie to my best friend? The whole point in being in any relationship is honesty, and I was lying to you. I couldn’t look at myself some mornings, I didn’t want to get up. But how do you hurt your best friend?
You do it by deciding that breaking their heart is better than letting them live a lie. Please, don’t do what I did. Don’t lie to the ones you love. It’s not only painful for you, but it’s torture for them.