The Third

There are three phrases you probably never want to hear in a relationship, the first of which is ‘let’s break up,” the second is “I cheated” or “there’s someone else,” and the third, which emotionally is probably the worst, is “let’s take a break”.

I’m here to talk about the third. That awful phrase entails two possibilities. Possibility one: said person removes initial dagger from your heart and helps you patch up the wound and you two continue to be in a relationship and work towards resolving whatever the issue was. Possibility two…the more likely scenario…:said person shoves a first dagger into your heart because of the break and leaves it there to fester awhile before finally coming back and dealing the finishing blow with yet another dagger to the heart and a kind “we can still be friends”.

What’s bad about taking a break? Nothing I suppose…if you set terms. Are you two allowed to see other people while on said break? How long should said break last until they make a decision? Then again, what’s bad about taking a break? Everything. You know how you feel towards that person but they are now unsure so you have to sit there in patient agony hoping they don’t hurt you. If they don’t set terms then how do you know on the break if they aren’t testing out other options, how long are you suppose to wait before giving up hope and finally allowing yourself the time to cry and move on? Why couldn’t they give you a chance to fix things? They said they liked you, loved you even, but not enough to give you a chance before ripping your heart in half? You apologized, you said you’d try harder and they said they believed you…but not enough to actually stay.

So now you’re in emotional limbo. You can’t cry because the relationships over because it isn’t, but you can’t be happy because you’re together because you aren’t. So what do you do? How do you deal with losing someone you love without fully losing them? How do you show them you want to make things work you want to make things better if now they don’t want to be near you?

I know relationships aren’t meant to be about trying to change the other person. I never wanted a relationship like that. I just thought relationships were suppose to be about holding the other person’s hand, standing by encouraging them  while they try and change themselves. Maybe I’m wrong, but I always thought you were suppose to give the person a chance to fix something before you decided to “take a break” from each other.

Sincerely,

demersus iratus erinacius

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