So, I told you in the last post that I was in love with my best friend, AR. Well, in 9th grade we actually started dating. I think the way it started was kinda cute. I was upset about not getting to go to homecoming with someone and I told AR that the person I really wanted to ask me hadn’t asked anyone yet but I didn’t think he’d ever want to go with me he asked who it was and I told him…and he kinda went quiet for a moment and said he was wanting to ask me but didn’t think I’d say yes to going with a friend. I kinda blushed I don’t remember why but we both ended up confessing to each other and going out. All of our friends were kinda shocked, some were happy for us and others didn’t really approve. AR decided that he still needed to ask me in a normal way like most people do so he put a single red rose with a black ribbon tied to it on my desk with a note that said “Will you go to homecoming with me? -A”. It was so cute, mostly because no one had ever done anything like that for me before and also because he used something from my favorite movie to ask me to a stupid school dance. Well, homecoming came around and I decided that’s when I was going to kiss AR. In 8th grade I got bored and made these things called “decision dollars” so every time someone did something good I gave them one and they could redeem them for candy and stuff and I jokingly told everyone if they got 100 they could redeem it for a kiss. So, 9th grade homecoming rolls around and I decided it would be cute if I gave him 100 decision dollars and asked if I could redeem them. He loved it, and it was probably one of the best memories I have of us that I didn’t screw up. Everything was perfect in the beginning, but like most of my relationships it didn’t work. We dated the whole fall semester and part of the spring semester and then broke up because I got angry with him and decided it wasn’t worth it. The first time we broke up it was my fault, I was jealous and he didn’t deserve that. He never deserved it.
You see, AR was friends with this one girl L. Well, L was dating two guys at once (I knew this for a fact, I had seen it with my own eyes), one of whom was a mutual friend. I found out that while L was dating these two guys she then told AR that she had a crush on him. You can only imagine that when I found this out I got extremely upset and when I confronted AR about everything she was doing and how I was comfortable with him spending so much time with her…he gave me excuses for her action. I’m sorry, but in what world is it okay for a girl to date two guys at once and then go for a third guy who is already in a relationship? You want to here the excuses? 1) She’s just trying to make everyone happy, 2) she’s been depressed so she just needs extra support, 3) she swears she broke it off with FC or was it JE that she broke up with?, 4) she didn’t realize what she was doing. We fought over this and I could deal with the fact that he would always take her side, he didn’t seem to understand how little it made me feel…how unimportant…how heartbroken it made me that my best friend, my boyfriend sided more with a cheater than he did with me. I couldn’t deal with my jealousy…I couldn’t deal with the fact that I was growing to resent him, so I ended it. I decided it was better to hurt him now than to one day hate him. I decided it was better to break both our hearts and maybe save our friendship than to loose my best friend.