I met CS at a church lock-in the summer before 9th grade. We became really good friends, so much so that when AR and I had a fight I turned to him for help. What I should have realized is that he liked me. I mean, I realized that eventually since we started dating after I broke up with AR, and we dated, I don’t remember exactly how long but it was for part of the spring semester of 9th grade and then I think we broke up the first couple weeks into 10th grade because I know he broke up with me while I was watching an Aggie football game with a bunch of my brothers friends. Talk about a crappy time to be broken up with, you want to cry because a relationship, a friendship, just ended but you can’t because you’re surrounded by people you barely know.
This was the second time I dated a friend, you would think after the first time I would have learned that dating friends is not the best idea but obviously not. After CS and I broke up, he kinda spiraled out of control and started drinking and doing drugs. I can’t help but wonder if any of that was partially my fault. I tried to help, I really did. I offered to be someone he could talk to or to find him someone else he could talk to but he only ever cussed me out or asked me to help by sending nude photos. After 4 years he’s gotten better. We’re sorta friends again though I’m afraid he might still have feelings for me. I’m not someone anyone should have feelings for, not yet.