So it’s come to this…

I went to my first counseling session today. Going in, I didn't know what I'd say. I felt like I was fine, I was finally in a good headspace, things have been going pretty well. They have you answer this survey before you meet with your counselor, and reading those question made me realize just …

The Reasons

I wrote a letter last week, and maybe I shouldn't have. I wrote a letter when I felt vulnerable and alone. I wrote a letter because I was scared. I wrote a letter because I had things I needed to say, things I wanted to say in case something ever happened. I know I should …

No One Would Listen

I've never been good at expressing myself, mostly because I've never felt I had my own voice. I'm the youngest child of four. Growing up I knew no one listened to me. I could say anything I wanted and I knew it would be drowned out by voices louder than mine. I thought, when I …

Knight in shining armor

I know that I usually turn to this blog to write when I'm stressed or sad, so I think for once I should write about some potential good news. So, as I've said before, I applied to four different graduate programs for the Fall of 2020. I've already heard back from the University of Tennessee, …

My Darling Valentine

I used to love Valentine's day, even when I knew I didn't have a Valentine. I would start thinking mid January about what kind of candy I wanted to make, and usually the week of or the day before Valentine's day I would spend hours pouring chocolate into molds and then placing the finished candy …

Softly Call the Muster, Let Comrade Answer Here…

In many lands and climes, this April day Proud sons of Texas A & M unite. Our loyalty to country, school, we pay, And seal our pact with bond of common might. We live again those happy days of yore, On campus, field, in classroom, hall, at drill. Fond memory brings a sigh--but nothing more: …

Mental Sabotage

So...I did something bad last night...worse than I've done in the past. I'm mentally exhausted...I know I am. I've never felt this low...I've never felt this physically exhausted...or this mentally...out of it. I keep feeling like I'm going to cry...and I don't know why. I don't have time for this though...I have too much else …

Unloving you…

I assumed we'd leave our posts...since we were a big part of each others lives for a little over a year. I assumed maybe somewhere down the road we could act like adults and be friends. Once again...I assumed wrong. Why would I be any different then any of the other girls he's dated? Or …

Azami the hedgehog

I haven't written about her yet, but I got a new baby hedgehog. Following family tradition I named her Azami, which means thistle in Japanese. She was born on Nov. 24, 2019 so she's a little over two months old now. She's a pinto so she's white and salt and pepper. Her spikes are kind …

Not a Volunteer

So, I applied to four graduate programs: the University of Central Florida, the University of Virginia, California State University, and the University of Tennessee. When I picked the grad programs, I made sure there was a professor I wanted to study under and that I was interested in the program that was offered. I knew …